On the spot on the street

I don't like giving to panhandlers on the street and have gone out of my way to avoid it since my days as a student in the Bronx, when begging was a front for muggers determining if you were worth mugging.

But the other day, I passed a tall, polite man under a store awning in the rain who said "I'm a Vietnam veteran, ma'am, can you help me out?" and held out his VA card as proof. As is my habit in these situations, I just kept walking. But it didn't sit well with me. I've often thought that if my mom and dad had split up in the last 15 years of my dad's life, that's what he would have become. Thank goodness it was raining because I got a bit teary thinking about my dad.

My dad had a huge heart but empty pockets, and a big brain but no practicality. He would give away money he didn't really have. I turned around and walked back three blocks to give that semi-toothless man $2.

I used to give regularly to a tall-but-stooped elderly black man who often worked my corner. He had terrible blood pressure and at one point his head was shaved for medical reasons, and he turned 70 in February. Well, I remember when he turned 69 the previous year, but he hasn't been around at all for about 6 months...probably no longer among us. So if that polite old vet begs on that other corner regularly, I think that's where I'll be shifting my street patronage to. And honestly, I don't care if he spends it on cigarettes or beer or any other vice - whatever gets him through the day is fine with me, no judgments.

First Delivery to Bottomless Closet

I had problems finding battered women's shelters to donate to, since a lot of them have to maintain a level of secrecy to keep their clients safe. But I really wanted to do something for this segment of the population, and found Bottomless Closet. This organization helps women - mostly single moms who've gotten out of abusive relationships - pull themselves out of the gutter and get into the work force.

I've been planning this drop-off for over a month, but the weather this winter has been wayyy disagreeable. I brought about $250 worth of cosmetics, hair products and skin care items for them to include in their "goody bags". They do a beautiful job of making their "closet" of second-hand career clothing look like a department in Macy's.

The woman who handled my delivery asked if I'd collected these donations at my office or something. I guess it was quite a lot to come from one person - that felt kind of good to hear! It also tickled me knowing that I only paid about 10% of the on-sale value of the things I'd brought.

Voluntourism/Vaniteerism at the runaway teen shelter

For my thoughts on voluntourism (which I prefer to call "vaniteerism"), click here.

I dropped off some Cheerios, milk, brownie mix, deodorant, etc at the shelter last night, and it was the funniest visit yet. First, there was a woman near the cabinet where I was offloading toiletries unpacking a very professional-looking video camera. I overheard that she's "documenting" two of the kids at the shelter. Then I went to the back to unload the food, and there were about a dozen awkward white kids clustered in the kitchen. One of the boys who's always there when we are (and has stated his preference for triple-bladed razors) said they were going to be there all week from Wisconsin and "I have to say, they make me very uncomfortable". Yeah, me too. You could tell they were there to "do good" during their Spring Break, but clearly the shelter kids were not crazy about the situation, and were almost... relieved? ... to see quiet, regular ol' me. Two of them leapt upon the deodorant, which surprised me - between us, Dani & I have donated 25 full-size Sure, Speedstick, Right Guard and Secret in the past two weeks. When that wishlist a few weeks back said they were completely out, they weren't exaggerating!

Anyway, I'm not sure what these college kids on Spring Break are hoping to achieve, especially since there are so many of them that the shelter kids who enjoy cooking aren't "needed". At least when it's just a couple of us, it's more like we're sharing their territory rather than usurping it. I wonder how much the two groups interact...the shelter kids were way more skilled at hiding their discomfort.

I heard the shelter manager speak for the first time - to the camera woman. Apparently while donations are slacking off at the moment, there is a rise in volunteer interest. Just goes to show that in this economy, we all have more time than money, duh. I like combining the two, the way i have been (thanks to Dani's cooking-for-the-masses skills!).

Invasion of the breakfast cereal

I got a call from my mother over the weekend, complaining that she had to take down her 4-foot Christmas tree in the living room corner (which, I kid you not, she still turned on - musical lights and everything) to make room for the 12 boxes of Kellogg's and 4 boxes of Chex I had her pick up on a supermarket deal the last two weekends. I think she had way too much fun buying them: I asked what kind she picked out, and she said "Hannah Montana!" Ugh, I meant for her to get more "serious" ones like Raisin Bran and Corn Flakes. Oh well. My limited closet space is overrun by 30 bottles of shampoo/conditioner, 8 big boxes of Cheerios, 10 tubes of toothpaste, 25 packs of pads/tampons, and an absurd amount of candy (Tootsie Rolls, Sour Patch Kids, Caramel Cremes, Spearmint Leaves, Laffy Taffy, etc) that I got for about 25 cents a bag. And I know Dani is contending with about 25 boxes of cereal and 30 bottles of salad dressing. It makes you wonder what conclusions people would draw if they tried to profile us based solely on the contents of our closets. I would come across as a well-travelled (assortment of luggage in all closets) carb addict who can't stop washing her hair or brushing her teeth. They'd be half right...I'll leave you to ponder which half.

I gave a ThaiForGood massage yesterday to an out-of-work documentary maker with a really bad neck. He doesn't read this blog, but he did have a look at some of the blog entries on my ThaiForGood site, and was interested in the things I've been doing for the shelter. And here I was thinking no one read that.

Now, to figure out the best destination for these vast quantities of Pantene, Garnier Fructis and Herbal Essences hair products...

I wish I could do more

Tonight I met up with Dani at Sylvia's Place to cook dinner. Okay, so I just dumped pasta in a pot and drained it - she's the one with the skills. A few things stood out about this particular experience that has me thinking...

1 - Breakfast Brawl
There was a girl there who stays at another shelter (which looks bigger or at least better organized that Sylvia's Place) and asked if she could take something back there for breakfast because they "have nothing". She said that they put in orders through the church that runs it, but they never get anything - I'm guessing they get very little from the food bank or else she wouldn't be there...you see, I'd put her at about 350 lbs, which makes her too big to jump a turnstyle, so she probably walked the nearly 4 miles between the two shelters for dinner - not comfortable even at half her size (sadly, I know that first-hand). Anyway, because of her size, I gave her the 3 boxes of Carnation Instant Breakfast I snagged for free at CVS last weekend rather than the Corn Pops. I can't imagine anyone would choose to chug 30 envelopes of powder! One of the boys tried to argue that she was only supposed to get one box, which was my initial offer before she described the extent of the problem, and I got pulled in as mediator on my way out. I mean...Carnation, for chrissakes. It's not like it was Frosted Flakes or, I don't know, GOLD BARS!!!

2 - The toiletry cupboard ain't bare
Dani got to put away the bathroom items she'd brought as donation, whereas I'd always been told to leave them on the desk. She said she could see I'd been there earlier, because we both work the same drug store deals and she knows all about the Colgate Total Whitening and Suave body wash, heh. Anyway, I have a massive load of girlie supplies, and Sylvia's doesn't have that many girl guests...and the other shelter does. Well, I'm moving in about 3 weeks and I want this stuff out of my closets by then. Seriously, I have at least 20 packs of liners, pads and 'pons.

3 - Poor feedback
I don't need heaps of thanks, but I would like to know when I've supplied more than enough, or donated something unneeded. While I get lots of feedback from the kids, I would absolutely love to have someone say "if you can get a good deal on XYZ, we have three kids who could really use that sort of thing" or "we've got enough shampoo to last us for 2 months, so no need to go out of your way for that at the moment".

4 - No admin
I actually think this is a good thing. We had a chat with one of the long-term volunteers we occasionally run into, and he told us how there is almost no record-keeping or separation of church and shelter. While I think there needs to be a few things in place that aren't, I also think it's great that they're not wasting resources on things that don't have any effect on the front lines.

I fully intend to continue my support of Sylvia's Place, but I think a little co-ordination with Dani might be in order...when we've got stacks of the same things, perhaps I should take some of my haul to another, equally destitute shelter.

Great new trend: Giving to the Giver

Last month (I think), I posted about the Starbucks "Pledge 5" free coffee for anyone promising to volunteer at least 5 hours in 2009. Well, DebbieLynne over at On The Banks of Stony Creek kindly posted this week about the Perry Ellis "Roll your sleeves up" offer: submit proof of 20 hours of volunteer work performed between Jan 20 and May 20 and get a free white men's office shirt. Wait, that sounded bad - any color man can wear this shirt, it's the shirt that's white.

Of course, I'm not a man and I'm not involved with one at the moment, so what to do about this rather generous offer? Well, donate it of course! Most of the "kids" who sleep at the shelter are 16-19, and a few older ones who've only recently moved into some kind of city housing come for dinner. The shelter manager occasionally mentions the need for decent work clothes whenever one of the kids gets a job, e.g. khakis and a white shirt. So when it comes time to submit my paperwork, I'll just ask her whose sizes I should get. Of course, we're talking about people who probably have no idea what their neck or sleeve length is...

What I donate from my coupon capers

Now that I've finally dug out the download cable for my digital camera, I thought you might like to see the "haul" I've got on the go for my first visit to Bottomless Closet and my ~8th visit to the Homeless Youth Services shelter. I got most of this stuff free or nearly free...maybe $15 that I won't get back in rebates/rewards. Heck, that's like buying the cereal and getting all the other stuff for free (which is saying a lot for all that L'Oreal and Almay make-up!).

Saturday Night at the Shelter

Cooking dinner with Dani and her boyfriend at the Homeless Youth Services shelter for GBLT teens & young adults was a FASCINATING experience on more than a few levels. Here are the highlights...

The Kids
As I'd noted in previous visits, there's a fairly typical assortment of "types" - some are polite and helpful, some are sociable, some are sullen. One kid wanted to tell me all about his CT scan that morning, another kept asking us a question that made no sense, one warned us that we should hide the cereal because it wouldn't survive 5 minutes in the open, and the sweetest were these two big teddy-bear guys who wanted to show off how well they chop vegetables. The age range seems to be 16-20 ... some of them have recently transitioned to public housing but stop by for dinner when they don't have food.

"Hey, it's real shepherd's pie, not that watery sh*t they serve at the church!"
So said one kid to another, when kid #2 showed disappointment at the menu. We chose shepherd's pie because they don't get much meat, and when they do, it's chicken. Plus, Dani found a great price on ground beef.

"CHEESE!!!"
The inclusion of cheese brought all the kids over for a look. Mental note: recipes with cheese are a big hit.

The Pantry
Dani & I sifted through the contents of the unpadlocked fridge (no idea what was in the locked one) and the rack of shelves to see what kind of things they were being supplied with so we wouldn't double up. Not a chance - 50% of the pantry was canned yams, and they recently got a delivery of about 100 lbs of potatoes. As I put a few containers of oatmeal on the shelf, one of the kids mentioned that grits are equally and maybe more popular...but then, that might have been a self-serving remark, heh.

"You're straight?? So why are you helping us?"
I know most of these kids ran away from home or were thrown out because they're gay. I guess they haven't been in NYC long enough to realize that things like that don't matter that much. We were apparently a demonstration of acceptance, and I'd argue that that will have a more enduring impact than dinner and 6 boxes of Frosted Flakes. Dani's mother wants to join in the cooking at some point, maybe in a couple of weeks - that will completely blow their minds.

The Lump
I'm not the only one who finds the girl who supervises really awkward. I'd say "useless", but she posts wish lists and benefit info to a Yahoo Group, which obviously works or else I wouldn't even be writing this post. In real life, she's a lump. No eye contact, no acknowledgement of your presence, no quick tour of the kitchen before cooking, no interest in seeing what we brought. Heck, the only reason we kept aside a plate of meatless shepherd's pie for her was because one of the kids told us she was vegetarian.

Free Lipstick for Trannies?
I'm not the only one who doesn't think this is the best use for free cosmetics - Dani actually brought it up first, but it echoed my own thoughts from my first visit to the shelter as well. Not that there aren't "real girls" at this shelter, but they are the minority and less likely to be caked in make-up than the transvestites. So I'm collecting such things for Bottomless Closet, an organization that helps disadvantaged and victimized women get back on their feet with workshops (budgeting, interviewing, etc), work-appropriate clothing, and a goody-bag of toiletries. I plan to drop off my first donation in about 2 weeks.

Cooking for the Kids

Most people in my "real world" sphere of influence roll their eyes at some of the stuff I want to try, be it skydiving in Buenos Aires or feeding runaway teenagers. Of course, that quality probably makes my blog(s) fun to read! Well, one of my readers with the time, the interest, and the skills wants to team up and cook for the kids at Homeless Youth Services this Saturday night.

I'll admit, it was a little scary making those deliveries at first - the neighborhood is pretty desolate at night (it's near the Lincoln tunnel), the facility feels a lot like a garage (bare concrete, metal cages, etc), and the kids give you an assessing look that could be curiosity, could be suspicion, could be determining if you're worth mugging. But now that some of them recognize me - and after my last delivery, a lot more of them probably will from now on - and I know what to expect, well, I'm used to it...and I want to participate more actively.

So thank you, Dani, for approaching me about preparing dinner for them this Saturday evening. I'll help you with the unfamiliar and at times intimidating environment, and you teach me to cook for 30-40 teenagers. I'm looking forward to this!

$30 bought me 30 Thank You's

I normally drop off supplies (these days, mostly of the edible persuasion) at the homeless teen shelter every week, but the weather has been too bitter and nasty to make that 2.7-mile roundtrip walk. That didn't stop me from accumulating lots of items from their wish list though, so this delivery got packed up in my full-size 25" wheelie suitcase...4 boxes of cereal (Frosted Flakes, Special K, Cap'n Crunch), 2 containers of oatmeal, 20 lbs of chicken legs, 30 eggs, 4 lbs of bacon, 1 lb grated parmesan, 2 boxes of cake mix with matching frosting, and a bagful of free sample-size Head & Shoulders shampoo and Old Spice deodorant that were collecting dust in a closet at my mom's office. Pretty good haul for $30!

In fact...so good, that one of the boys who watched me unpack the suitcase of goodies stood in the middle of the room and shouted, "Everyone, everyone, listen up! Instead of going out and getting drunk or getting a little something something on a Friday night, she came all the way down here with a big load of REAL SHIT for us!!! And we all need to thank her, every single one of us."

You know what I think really did it? The bacon. I gave them eggs and bacon, and one of the kids who loves to do the cooking, well, his jaw hit the floor. Some of the others actually looked confused that I'd brought them name brand cereal (that would be the "real shit"). Their pantry shelving just had bags of rice, cans of beans and tomatoes, and a lot of recently-delivered rolls. I wish I'd looked more closely when they opened the fridge, but I did register that there was plenty of room for the chicken, bacon, eggs and cheese....and no milk or fruit. No milk? How were they going to eat the 2.5 boxes of corn flakes they had lined up for tomorrow's breakfast -- dry?

On the way out, an exotic trannie and one of the girls who gets excited whenever I bring socks stopped me. Sock girl wanted me to know how much they really appreciated the donations because "people would rather give to shelters for single men than teenagers from the other side", meaning that many of them were gay. I just said kids are kids, and should never be forgotten...and went on my way with my empty wheelie bag, thinking how much better that $30 was spent than if I'd gone to a bar and had, what, 3 drinks?

The Food Bank Needs a Bail-out

Judging from the Yahoo groups online Wish List put out periodically by the Homeless Youth Services shelter where I drop off donations, the New York Food Bank must be approaching bankruptcy. First they eliminated eggs, then fruit, then milk. And judging from the current Wish List, they are no long supplying any protein, and even such stand-bys as cereal, pasta, and canned tuna are scarce.

Well, the weather isn't too cold today, so I'll be making the rounds of assorted supermarkets and pharmacies to take advantage of their specials to add to the milk, eggs and tangerines I picked up yesterday. The final item on this week's Wish List reads:

We need food! The food bank and similar organizations are stretched thin, and we're feeling it. Tonight I served pasta and sauce (no cheese or meat) and tomorrow we're going to be down to beans and rice . . . bring a friend and a bag of groceries and cook dinner for the shelter or drop off some of the following items:
spaghetti
parmesan cheese
tuna
chicken
ground beef
milk
hot dogs
spices: esp. adobo, onion and garlic powder, cumin
fresh fruit esp. oranges and bananas
popcorn kernals - we have a popper
cereal
sugar

I had an exceptionally good week of business, so I'll be doubling my usual weekly expenditure on this shelter.

Random Act of Kindness Thwarted

In my first ever post on this blog, I wrote that I thought the practice of picking up someone's tab (at McDonald's, a gas station, a grocery store, wherever) could too easily be interpreted as insulting and raise suspicion where I live - NYC. And I still believe that.

However, I had a rare opportunity to make someone's evening a little easier last night. I was picking up my take-out order at a local diner, and a woman (clearly a regular) stopped in to pick up a cup of tea with honey for her throat. She opened her wallet and realized she didn't have any cash, and the diner has a $10 minimum for debit cards. I tapped her on the shoulder and said "Merry Christmas", then turned to the cashier and told him to put it on my tab. Her jaw dropped - for a brief moment, I rendered a fellow New Yorker speechless...well, for a moment, she started going on about how she had every intention to perpetuate the gesture, how wonderful I was, etc. until the manager came over to see what the mild ruckus was, and chimes in "Your tea is on the house - what are friends for? You're here all the time."

I guess I set a little something in motion there, and it didn't cost anybody anything...well, maybe a few pennies to the diner for a teabag and honey packets.

Darn...pre-spent ThaiForGood $$

A massage therapist booked a ThaiForGood massage with me for her birthday about a month beforehand. She picked my brain for info about training up in the style, what kind of market there is for it, promised a "big tip" for my advice....and then cancelled by email the day before. I'm really not into counting chickens before they hatch, but I really thought this one would happen because it was a birthday self-treat. I guess she just wanted information? That was kind of mean. Foolishly(?), I "adopted" two families' kids for Secret Santa in addition to the one quoted in an earlier post, and shopped as if I'd already earned the money.

I think part of the reason there has been a lack of interest in my offer is that craiglist, where I advertise it, started charging $5 to post in the Erotic Services category, so all of the shady massage parlors have been inundating the Therapeutic page with their similarly-priced "massages" - though that $50 is just the desk fee and doesn't include what they're really there to buy. Ugh, what a disgusting industry to be confused with!

Playing Santa is a heartbreaker

In my last post, I quoted a craigslist ad posted by a woman trying to give her kids a Christmas. Well, on Friday morning, she showed up with her three adorable kids to pick up the box of goodies - arts & crafts supplies, plus a game of Clue - in my lobby. She started crying, in a tears-only, no-sobbing kind of way, and I may have gotten more than a little choked up myself. Here I'd spent the whole week freaking out about my lease renewal and lack of business, and meeting this little family gave me back some perspective.

Saturday, I took the train home to visit my mom and told her about the experience. When we got up in the morning, she was still curled up under the blanket when she said "I can't stop thinking about that mom and her kids". So we went shopping for another batch of presents for them...she really wanted to give them the ingredients for a nice Christmas breakfast (she's a huge fan of all breakfast food), but that just wasn't going to work logistically. Instead, we put together a very motherly care package amongst the toys - cold medicine, toothbrushes and toothpaste, shampoo, cake mix and candles for the next birthday in the family, dishwashing liquid and new sponges, odd things like that in addition to Twister, Uno, Hanna Montana bits, Krazy straws.

Years of living in Manhattan have made me averse to allowing new people into my life, and I normally would have avoided this type of situation in case it resulted in frequent requests for money or support. As a fledgling attempt to overcome my minor paranoia, it is so far working like a dream. I'm more likely to give when not being pushed, and I really do like knowing whose life I'm improving in some small way. I also caught an undercurrent during the brief meeting in my lobby that I was some kind of proof to her abused children that good people do exist. I wasn't looking for that...you know, I don't think I really thought through what I was doing at all. I just wanted the feelgood of giving someone a Christmas, but it has turned out to be so much more than that.

Playing Santa

Like just about everyone out there, I'm spending a bit less on Christmas. Well, sort of...I blew $570 back in August on a ticket to Aspen because if I didn't, I'd be spending the holiday alone in my apartment with my Christmas tree and the televised yule log. All because Mom scored a free ticket after being voluntarily bumped from a flight in July and immediately booked a peak season ticket before United hit their limit of freebies for that week. I'm shocked I got away with just $570 for a ticket that normally goes for twice that. I'm only going for 5 days though, because I suffer terribly from altitude sickness that doesn't go away after 48 hours the way it does for most people.

I normally spend $400-500 on my family, but this year I'm only parting with $300 + regifted $100 Pottery Barn card. I would like to "split the difference" and spend some of the saved money being Santa to a needy family. So, while figuring out where to donate my gift-wrapping skills, I stumbled across this request on the Craigslist Volunteer page:

Xmas???please help my children have one
Hello, I am writing this because my children and I lived in hell to the point they were molested by their father, we finaly we have a secure home but we can not have contact with our family that know dad, there is a order of protection involved and these are the only people who would help us, yes we recive public assistance but it just isn't enough after the bills 120.00 twice a month that just covers the light bill, and thankgod for section 8 the rent is paid, I am lined up to start work in a week but I am not sure I will have a check before christmas, anything used toys anything would be a blessing.

Since the mom states that she'd be happy with used toys, this passed my "is this a scam" test easily because (a) even charities don't want used toys, and (b) they have no resale value. So I emailed her for the ages and genders of her kids: boy 12, girl 10, boy 8. She's trying to send me a photo, but she's having trouble with that. They live on Staten Island, but pass through my neighborhood every week on their way to family therapy. I have an unused, still-in-plastic Scrabble game for starters. And I'll bet they could use some of my huge money-making Duracell haul from CVS too. The rest, well, we'll see how the wishlist turns out...I'm thinking artsy-craftsy stuff for the youngest, hair doo-dads for the girl, and maybe a hoodie for the older boy in case I get no guidelines.

Another Interesting Delivery to HYS

Last night I stuffed a wheelie bag with toiletries, batteries, milk, grapefruit and bananas and rolled it on down to the Homeless Youth Services / Sylvia's Place shelter. They hadn't put out a wish list in about 3 weeks, but I scrolled through some of their older lists that mention ongoing needs - like eggs, milk and fruit now that the Food Bank has cut those items out due to lack of funds. This morning, a new wish list appeared on their Yahoo Groups message board, and it made me smile - they're completely out of deodorant...or more accurately, they were when the list was first being assembled, because I dropped off 4 brand new solids last night (shout-out to CVS for their nearly-free deals on Right Guard, Soft & Dri, and Sure last month!).

Now, when I make these drops, there's usually the regular staff member and maybe a volunteer or two (or are they just long-term guests at the shelter who help out?), plus anywhere from 15 to 50 teenagers hanging around just dancing, talking, making out behind the door, watching TV and keeping warm. I don't want to be a bother to their stretched staff, so I just pull out the goodies and sort them into food v. non-food so that things don't spoil, then I dash off feeling slightly embarrassed. Not sure why. Am I embarrassed because, relatively speaking, I have so much more than they do and yet I'm giving so little? Maybe, but I think I'd be more embarrassed if I got, well, thanked.

Last night on my way out, there were about 5 older teenagers lingering just outside the door, and the neighborhood is kind of empty. One of them asked my name, so I told them as I dashed off. I'm not entirely sure what I'm afraid of... well, maybe I have some idea. I don't want to be asked for money, I don't want giving my name to become an excuse to be "walked home" - I went to Fordham in the Bronx in the late 80s, and the cafeteria staff used to feed off our middle-class guilt and youthful idealism to get invited to our parties and walk off with our electronics, leather, cash, etc. I worked in the security office, I know exactly what went on.

And yet I'm very contrary: just this past weekend, as I contemplated the possibility of moving to a new apartment, I thought about asking the woman who runs the shelter if she'd recommend one or two of the boys for a couple of hours' paid work helping me move. Because if I do move, it will be like 2 blocks down the road - do I even need a truck?? In midtown Manhattan, it would just get ticketed five times in three hours anyway, ouch.

I wonder if I'll ever make sense to myself.

Could it be a Wrapportunity??

For the first time in my 5 years of living in this building, someone has organized a toy drive for Christmas on behalf of The Children's Aid Society. Unwrapped gifts are requested, and I'm thinking "well SOMEONE has to wrap them...why not me??" So tomorrow I'll bug the truly wonderful day shift doorman (who knows I have a wrapping fetish) for details and see if I can get in on this treasure trove of gifts desperately in need of pretty paper and curly ribbon!

Thanksgiving Giving

A few days before Thanksgiving, I contacted Homeless Youth Services about their request for prepared food for the holiday - I didn't want to bring something they make on premises or that lots of other people bring, but I'm not a great cook. I make great mashed potatoes, but that's such a staple that they wouldn't want it. Kate at HYS picked ye olde string bean casserole from my tiny list, which made me laugh because it's the biggest no-brainer recipe out there. So on Tuesday night, I prepared 10-15 servings' worth and planned to bring them first thing Thursday morning after putting my sister on a bus to the airport, since the shelter is near Port Authority.

Unfortunately, I woke up at 5am on Thanksgiving with the most abominable stomach pain, and spent the next 15 hours curled up on the bathroom floor. I don't remember ever being that sick. And there I was, with a larder packed with string bean casserole prepared and sealed long before I got sick, 2 dozen eggs and 6 lbs of bananas (apparently the food bank's cutbacks include milk, eggs and fresh fruit) for runaway teenagers. At 8:30pm, on my way to Penn Station with a pocketful of plastic bags to get sick in if needed, I had the taxi detour to the shelter to make the drop. I'm very glad I did...the shelter was packed out, and it looked like either dinner hadn't been served yet or it was the second seating. My dish might indeed have made it to the table in time! If not, I'm sure it did the following day.

Odd tidbit...I had told the cabbie that I was stopping at a homeless shelter, and he was greatly confused when we pulled up to see a few of the teenagers outside making out. He asked me "what kind of shelter is THAT??". It made me realize something...for homeless people, teenagers are pretty "normal". Sorry if that sounds judgmental, but most homeless adults that I run into either have substance abuse problems or mental health issues, both of which make me really uncomfortable. I'm not proud of feeling this way, but I haven't been able to change it - and I have tried more than a few times since the age of 14. As for the teenagers, they were rolling with the punches pretty well, just doing what kids their age do but in a different environment. Some of them even go on to vocational training and community college, so this organization must be doing something right, right?

Delivering the Goods

A couple of days ago, I dragged a little wheelie bag full of partially used (shower gel, lotions, conditioner) and completely new (band-aids, deodorant, soap, socks, gloves, etc) toiletries to Homeless Youth Services. I'm not sure how I feel about that experience.

First, it's affiliated with a church, and I have mixed feelings about anything religious. However, it didn't look like a preachy situation, and quite honestly I totally believe in churches doing things like this because hey, they've got all that real estate - put it to real use! The program gets to use the basement after 6pm, and it's not a "finished" basement - it felt like a garage, which made me a little sad. The wish list for this week included sleeping bags, and I'm pretty sure they roll them out on the concrete floor and sleep right there.

I got there around 7pm on a bitter evening, but the basement was delightfully toasty. I saw about a dozen teenagers hanging out, chatting, teaching each other to dance (I thought that only happened in movies!). I asked the woman in charge how many kids they take care of, and she said now that it's so cold, about 30 sleep there and more stop by for food and a little relief from life on the streets.

It opened my eyes, but not in a "now I understand" kind of way...it was more like "wow, there's so much I don't understand".

This week's donation hemorrhage

I sent monthly checks off to two charities this evening: $70 to Thai Freedom House (sadly, I had just one ThaiForGood client), and $50 to The Baobab Home in Tanzania.

I've also been stockpiling coupon freebies for the past week or so, and I've finally identified a couple of tiny charities here in NYC that want what I've got...

Bottomless Closet helps disadvantaged women get into a decent job - interview workshops, budgeting seminars, second-hand interview and work clothes, etc. They also distribute a "goodie bag" of toiletries, so I'll be sending along the bargains I get on name-brand cosmetics, hair care products, deodorant, fem hygiene, etc.

Homeless Youth Services runs a shelter for teens in need, mostly LGBT runaways. I'm not a member of the LGBT community (I'm "S"), and indeed have very conflicted feelings about the T segment, but at the end of the day they're all just kids trying to survive. Apparently they're getting overspill from Covenant House, wow. This shelter's needs are sometimes so basic it breaks my heart. They post a weekly needs list in their yahoo group, and everything is really tiny - like milk because the food bank is so strained that they can't provide it anymore, moisturizer for one of the trans girls because her skin is so dry it hurts, plain felt Christmas stockings for the kids to decorate for themselves, OTC cold tablets. They don't mind donations of partially used shampoos and such - which is awesome, because I have some products that just don't suit me. They're also happy to accept prepared food for Thanksgiving dinner...I'm generally a lousy cook, but I make great mashed potatoes.